You're trying to find out whether this is someone you should know more intimately en route to figuring out whether this is a person you could marry. You are trying to figure out if you to know this person intimately. One suggestion I have for couples starting out is that the majority of your time together should be spent with other people, preferably with your families and church families.Get to know one another in groups, find out how the other person reacts to people, spend time with the people he or she cares about.
These are simply suggested applications of biblical principles.If nothing else, treating men who initiate well will encourage other men to initiate.If we are concerned about defrauding one another (again, this idea applies to both genders but particularly to the men as the initiators), another one of the early issues to address is how much and what kind of time couples spend together.Guys, tell her why you have initiated or are initiating with her, tell her that you intend to pursue the relationship to determine if marriage is the right choice before God.In my view, this establishing of intentions should be done near the beginning of any exclusive or romantic time spent together — preferably within the first two or three "dates" during a deliberate conversation on the subject.If you know the man well or at least better than what I've just described, but you are not sure whether you are interested in him, I'd encourage you to at least take some time to get to know him before giving an unequivocal "no." Keep in mind that this is different from feigning interest when there isn't any.There are instances in which you can be genuinely unsure about a guy but still move forward this far.Then — in addition to actually thinking and praying about it — ask one of your pastors or elders whether he knows him and what he thinks.If the pastor or elder you ask doesn't know him well, he can guide you to a trustworthy source that knows him better.Do you have enough information to know that you could not marry this man?If a man initiates with you, ladies, think and pray and seek counsel before simply dismissing him.