The only red flag I see here is that your daughter and his son are a little young to be settling down.Many people do successfully marry their college sweethearts, but I don't see why they would rush into it.I feel very sorry for her as she is obviously grieving, but she is not understanding my position and I do not know how to tell her tactfully "thanks but no thanks." How do I let this grieving woman down gently without having to lay out word for word my exact feelings about my deadbeat-dad ex to her? A: The friend is not getting the message, so you need to say that you understand her grief, but you simply do not have room for her in your life and unfortunately you two simply cannot get together.This woman is a footnote, but I'm afraid you can't simply brush away the main story, which is that your children's father committed suicide.
As much as you may have hated the guy, you need to get past that and bring some compassion to how you tell your children that their father was a sad and ill man.I got a little more explicit in describing that this man abandoned our children and while he may have been her best friend, I have no interest in anything having to do with him at this point.She is still insisting that she would love to be a part of my life and my children's lives and has even offered me some of his ashes!I'm 30 and she is 32, and her biological clock has been loudly ticking since we got together.The thing is, it has become starkly clear to me that I chose the wrong field.I thanked her for the information and told her I was sorry for her loss, but as I have not heard from him since our divorce 5 years ago, I really do not want anything to do with it.She wrote back with a message that the past is past and implied that I should be involved somehow in this mess.Young marriage does put people at a higher risk of divorce.If your daughter comes to you for advice about getting married upon graduation, separate out what you say from your own concern about how good a stepson her boyfriend would be. Daughter Inherited Dad's Birthmark: Both my husband and our daughter were born with port-wine stains on their faces.I don't see why your daughter has to overcome self-consciousness or deal with endless questions and staring because of such a superficial problem, one that has a solution.I have heard testimony from kids who have had too-prominent ears surgically pinned back who say how great it felt to finally look like everyone else.