Some cities will have "dungeons" where interested parties can go to meet (sometimes through invitation only) and engage in sex on the premises.Obviously, you need to be extremely careful and exercise caution when meeting someone from the internet. It can be extremely rewarding to find a BDSM play partner or hiring a professional.Here's an experiment: Google "dominatrix" and your city name right now (I'll wait).If your city is big enough, you'll probably return results from the web pages of professional Dominants. The pages explain their services, their rates, their rules.What I'm getting at with all these questions is this: there is a lot to consider when you're looking for a BDSM play partner, especially a casual one, or a professional one.Communication is paramount in absolutely any relationship, but it's especially necessary in a BDSM dynamic, particularly when there's no romantic relationship and you won't be just talking out feelings with your play partner.
If you're submissive, are you also a masochist?If you're new to a certain activity, research the hell out of it before trying it, and discuss the research with your potential play partner. Any session you have has to end with aftercare in some form for everyone's well-being.Kinky sex has made its way into mainstream culture in places other than poorly written erotica-gone-NYT-bestsellers-list.If you already know your specific desire, let's talk about things to consider when finding someone specifically to fulfill your BDSM needs.So, you're into receiving physical pain, specifically hitting. Are you interested in it being a humiliating over-the-knee spanking, or does that humiliation aspect turn you off? My partner has decided that they're okay with me going to someone to help me with my needs. It needs to be someone I don't know, and they need to be very discreet. First we'll talk about what to consider before engaging in a BDSM relationship, and then we'll talk about finding one. A widely-accepted definition of "BDSM" is "Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submissive, Sadism/Masochism." It's a very basic acronym for a very complex idea. There are as many different types and levels of kinks as there are kinksters. I'm in a relationship where my partner is not interested in BDSM, but I am. They can't bring themselves to hit me — it makes them uncomfortable. I'm going to write this to try to help those who might not be as experienced, too. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what to consider about you and BDSM. You mention that you miss it, so you are experienced in BDSM. Have you considered a purely text or phone-based BDSM relationship (as in, you never meet physically)? I'm happy that you and your partner have talked about boundaries. Or are you a Dominant, and you want to be in control of someone else?Fet Life also organizes completely vanilla meet-ups so that members can meet face-to-face without any pressure.I've had success finding play partners on vanilla social networks, too — particularly for long-distance, text-based/Skype-based BDSM.